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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29974647">what can i do? (i've already fallen for you)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyacinth4maria/pseuds/hyacinth4maria'>hyacinth4maria</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Coming Out, Eventual Fluff, Half Angst Half Crack, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Oblivious Dumbasses, Pandemic - Freeform, Quarantine, au where the boys are still in high school for the pndemic, but it does seem like it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 16:34:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,158</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29974647</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyacinth4maria/pseuds/hyacinth4maria</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p></p><blockquote>
  <p><br/>Hinata Shoyou is suffocating within his own four walls, and he feels like he might burn alive if he doesn't do something.</p>
  <p>So, he calls Kageyama.</p>
</blockquote>Shoyou experiences a gay awakening, a coming out, a confession, and a rejection (or so it appears) all in one year, and it's not even April yet.<p>Or, Hinata hates quarantine and is lonelier and gayer than ever.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>what can i do? (i've already fallen for you)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>honeslty this is just a vent fic because im so fucking tired of quarantining and i miss my friends,, also i recently came out and confessed to my crush/best friend of 5 years only for her to come out to me as well and reply to my confession with "oh, ok, haha" ...... it was such a disaster lmao,, so i decided to make it a kagehina fic where its cuter and has a happy ending because im sad,,,, gay tingz lol</p><p>anyway ik this isnt accurate to where japan is currently at with the pandemic, but i just wanted to channel my covid frustrations into this fic, so fuck it, artistic liberties. </p><p>also, everyone who saw the first post of this, no you didnt &lt;3</p><p>hope u like it!!!</p><p>((also title is from the song "what can i do" by day6, check em out!!)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shoyou is grateful.</p><p>Really, he is.</p><p>He's glad that no one he loves was seriously affected by the pandemic, he's grateful that neither he nor his parents or little sister ever got sick, and he's definitely grateful for his wonderful home and his warm bed.</p><p>But, fuck, sometimes he just feels so lonely.</p><p>He feels like the four walls of his room inch closer by the day, he feels they might suffocate him soon. He feels like he's running out of breath while standing still. He feels exasperated, flustered, terrified, even at the best of times.</p><p>Time seems to be moving both impossibly slow and uncontrollably fast. Shoyou can't catch his breath with all the changes his life has gone through. He's almost going to be a third year and he still feels too young, too uncertain about his future.</p><p>Everything in his life has been derailed. He feels impossibly small, truly small, for the first time in a long time. Not even that tall, tall wall of blockers ever brought him down as much as this has.</p><p>He hasn't had a decent volleyball game in <em>ages</em>. He's been stuck doing simple drills all alone, or going through the basics with Natsu, and while Natsu is all too happy to spend more time with her big brother, Shoyou is beyond frustrated.</p><p>He no longer has an outlet for his energy. All he does is go on runs and exercise and feel lonely. He's gotten worse at school, somehow. It's even harder to retain information through a computer screen, when there's a million more distractions and absolutely no supervision.</p><p>Nowadays, nothing fails to bring him down.</p><p>Shoyou misses volleyball.</p><p>He misses his team.</p><p>He misses Kageyama.</p><p>Fuck, he misses Kageyama. It's almost sad, how much he misses him.</p><p>Sure, Shoyou has other school friends.</p><p>But this quarantine has melted away those fragile bonds and now the only people he talks to are his family, or members of his team. And Kageyama.</p><p>He hasn't physically seen him (or virtually either, for that matter, because Kageyama never shows his face during FaceTimes and they weren't placed in the same class this year) since their last practice, before their school went on a two week break that became two months that became a year.</p><p>But despite not seeing him in so long, Shoyou feels closer to him than ever before.</p><p>Kageyama is his biggest relief amidst the chaos. He's the lighthouse in the middle of a storm. </p><p>They spend more time talking than ever.<br/>
Maybe it's annoying, and it's definitely selfish, but Shoyou calls him at least every other day for no reason other than to hear his voice. Kageyama usually answers gruffly, with a harsh, "What do you want, dumbass?"</p><p>But there are times when he'll soften, when he'll giggle and sigh and on one memorable occasion, say, ever so softly, "I'm glad you called."</p><p>Shoyou doesn't know about Kageyama's home situation. Kageyama has always felt a little distant. And it's not his fault, he's just the reserved type. Even though he's often screaming his head off and pulling at Hinata's hair, or demanding the best from the team, Kageyama is shy when the conversation veers towards the personal. Before quarantine, Kageyama had never spoken of any other family member but his older sister, Miwa (who Shoyou met one [1] time and promptly pinned as the coolest Kageyama). Throughout quarantine, Kageyama has grown more open, revealing aspects of his life even without Shoyou's prompting. Shoyou has learned about Kageyama's distant parents, his loving grandfather, and recently, about him planning to move in with his sister. And most of what he says is vague, but Shoyou always feels glad to be trusted at all.</p><p>But despite how little Shoyou has learned about Kageyama's private life, Shoyou can guess that Kageyama's been as lonely as he is, if not more.</p><p>And he definitely knows that Kageyama misses volleyball as ardently as he does.</p><p>Sugawara-senpai wasn't wrong in comparing them to sharks, needing volleyball just as much as sharks need to keep moving.</p><p>Now that they've been ripped from it, Shoyou feels lost and disoriented. With every day that passes, he feels further and further from himself. He tries to practice self-care, eats what he should, runs as he should, but he can't help the absolute sadness that's melted into his bones.</p><p>And Shoyou isn't the kind of person who gets sad. Everyone knows it. HIm being perpetually sad is as outlandish as Tsukishima deciding to French kiss Kageyama, or so Nishinoya had said.</p><p>Usually, when Shoyou gets down like this, he just dusts himself off and gets back up. No problem. But these days, it's <em>so</em> hard. He's falling behind, in almost every aspect of his life.</p><p>Kenma tells him that it's okay to be down during these times, because everyone is, but he should know better than anyone that Shoyou finds no comfort in words like that. And maybe Kenma does know something, because he's been messaging more, and asking Shoyou to play online games with him. It's nice, playing with Kenma like that, but that niceness is only temporary.</p><p>Maybe he wouldn't feel so terrible about the missed volleyball practices if he hadn't heard from Goshiki that the Shiratorizawa team had already started practicing, albeit only half the team.</p><p>Only Kageyama truly understands the extent of his frustrations.</p><p>He feels caught in a web, stuck and getting more stuck the more he tries to break free.</p><p>He wants to play volleyball.</p><p>He wants to see his friends again.</p><p>He wants to see Kageyama.</p><p>Kageyama. Kageyama. Kageyama.</p><p>It's absolutely sad how much Shoyou misses him.</p><p>Shoyou misses his snarled remarks, his rough hands, his unwavering trust, his sharp eyes. He misses the feel of setting one of his tosses. He misses walking by his side and brushing their arms together. He misses startling Kageyama into a smile. He misses drawing those icy eyes towards himself, misses poking Kageyama and goading him into playing thumb war just to feel how his pretty hands fit into Shoyou's. He even misses Kageyama's strong fingers sinking into his hair, pulling at the strands.</p><p>Shoyou misses him so ardently that one day, it dawns on him that maybe Kageyama isn't just a friend. At least, not to Shoyou.</p><p>It had never occurred to him. The idea that Shoyou could--that Kageyama and him could be--well...Shoyou had never thought of it. But now that it was in his mind, he couldn't escape the thought.</p><p>He wanted to deny it, at first. That he had feelings for...for stupid Kageyama. Stupid Kageyama and his pretty face and strong arms and heavenly thighs and--ehem...The point is that the idea was inconceivable. At first.</p><p>But then Shoyou talked to Bokuto, the only guy he knew who was in a relationship with another guy (this was before Nishinoya asked Asahi out, and before Shoyou found out about Daichi and Sugawara).</p><p>Shoyou texted him almost as soon as he discovered his feelings for Kageyama.</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
heyy bokuto-senpai<br/>
how are youu</p><p>
  <b>bokuto-senpai 💪😎💪</b><br/>
<em>my favorite disciple!!</em><br/>
<em>im goood, as usual</em><br/>
<em>what's up</em><br/>
<em>how r u</em>
</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
im ok its just<br/>
well...<br/>
i was just wondering how you knew you liked akaashi<br/>
if that okay to ask? its ok if u don't wanna answer!!</p><p>
  <b>bokuto-senpai 💪😎💪</b><br/>
<em>awww my young disciple is growing up</em><br/>
<em>asking about the birds and the bees</em>
</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
bokuto-senpaiiiii :(</p><p><b>bokuto-senpai 💪😎💪</b><br/>
<em>okay okay </em><em>i'll</em> <em> tell you</em><br/>
<em>i just really really liked how akaashi tossed to me</em></p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
...</p><p><b>bokuto-senpai 💪😎💪</b><br/>
<em>ok but fr tho</em><br/>
<em>i liked how he listened to me abt even the dumbest stuff</em><br/>
<em>and how he looked really handsome even when he was all sweaty and gross</em><br/>
<em>and how he laughed all funny</em><br/>
<em>and </em><em>i</em> <em>dont know he just gave me this really fuzzy bwah!! feeling, you know?</em><br/>
<em>being with him felt like hitting a really satisfying spike</em><br/>
<em>made me feel all woooo inside</em><br/>
<em>does kageyama make you feel like that?</em></p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
how did u know this is about kageyama?<br/>
wait<br/>
this isn't about kageyama!!!!<br/>
this was a completely un-kageyama related question!!!<br/>
who told you?!<br/>
:((</p><p><b>bokuto-senpai 💪😎💪</b><br/>
<em>akaashi</em> <em>said this was probably about kageyama</em></p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
how does akaashi know abt what i asked you??<br/>
and how does he know abt kageyama??</p><p><b>bokuto-senpai 💪😎💪</b><br/>
<em>he's been next to </em><em>me</em> <em>this whole time</em><br/>
<em>also, he says that it's because ur really obvious</em></p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
how??? i literally just found out that i liked him like two seconds ago<br/>
also plz tell akaashi hi and i hope he's well</p><p><b>bokuto-senpai 💪😎💪</b><br/>
<em>he's</em> <em> good and he says hi</em><br/>
<em>akaashi also says, and i quote, "yikes"</em></p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
:(</p><p>
  <b>bokuto-senpai 💪😎💪</b><br/>
<em>so what r u gonna do abt it now that u know</em><br/>
<em>akaashi says u should confess</em><br/>
<em>when ur ready</em><br/>
<em>akaashi is a love guru now</em>
</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
idk what imma do<br/>
i think imma wait a little more before I confess<br/>
i mean,, i just found out i like guys<br/>
i didn't even know that</p><p><b>bokuto-senpai 💪😎💪</b><br/>
<em>awww chibi-chan, ur rlly learning a whole lot tonight</em><br/>
<em>proud of u kid :D 👍</em><br/>
<em>u got </em> <em>thisssss</em><br/>
<em>i believe in you!! :D</em></p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
thank u bokuto-senpai<br/>
:DD<br/>
imma go on a run to think abt it<br/>
this has been rlly helpful<br/>
byeee also say thank u to akaashi, he was rlly helpful too<br/>
u guys are so cool</p><p><b>bokuto-senpai 💪😎</b>💪<br/>
<em>byeee</em><br/>
<em>stay safe on ur run!!</em><br/>
<em>and its no problem!!!</em><br/>
<em>i already decided that me and akaashi r gunna be ur </em><em>godfathers</em></p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
omg!!! ive never had godfathers :O</p><p>
  <b>bokuto-senpai </b>
  <b>💪😎</b>
  <b>💪</b><br/>
<em>what are senpais for </em>
  <em>us <b>😎</b></em>
</p><p>That was back in January.</p><p>Now it's March and Shoyou is going crazy.</p><p>He eventually decided, after much introspection, that he must be bi.</p><p>He knows he likes girls, he had an almost-crush on Tanaka's older sister through half of first year. And he's liked other girls in the past. But after finding out how he felt about Kageyama, Shoyou has begun to notice how he's liked boys, too. Ito Haru in his second year of middle school, who always lent him a pencil when he forgot one, and smiled sweetly whenever Shoyou thanked him. Nakamoto Eiji, from the summer camp he went to in his third year of middle school, who taught him how to swim and who made Shoyou laugh so hard saltwater squirted out of his nose. </p><p>And Kageyama. Kageyama, who makes Shoyou feel alive, who makes every second full of wonder and excitement. Lovely, scarily talented, dumb Kageyama, who awoke all these feelings inside Shoyou that he didn't even know he had.</p><p>So, Shoyou learns he's bisexual.</p><p>That same day, he decides he can't tell his parents. </p><p>But he can trust his friends.</p><p>He comes out to almost everyone in the team, all to responses of extreme enthusiasm with some even coming out to him in exchange.</p><p>He's come out to everyone in his close friend group (which is surprisingly gayer than he'd ever thought), except for Kageyama.</p><p>He has no idea what he'll tell him.</p><p>Shoyou knows Kageyama isn't the cruel kind. Sure, he's unapologetically rude and mean, but he's not cruel. Shoyou just doesn't know what he'd think about this. They've never even talked about romance, let alone homosexuality.</p><p>But now that SHoyou htinks about it, he begins to wonder if maybe Kagyema might be like him. Kageyama never talked about girls (he never talked about boys either, but still) and he never spared Kiyoko more than a glance when all the other boys swooned over her. Even Shoyou had a bit of a crush on Kiyoko, because, who wouldn't? </p><p>But even still, he has no idea what Kageyama would say.</p><p>And the thought of confessing to him scares him to the bone.</p><p>He doesn't even know what he'd do if Kageyama said he liked him too. Shoyou doesn't even allow himself to imagine it, he is almost absolutely certain that Kageyama doesn't feel the same way. And Shoyou's family isn't like the Bokutos, who readily accepted their son and their son's boyfriend. Or even like Yachi's mom, who eventually accepted her daughter, and who's now as encouraging and loving as any other parent.</p><p>Shoyou doesn't think his family will ever be like that, so ready to push aside their traditions and all they've ever known to be correct. Shoyou knows they love him, and they're as happy as a family can be, but his parents are on the older side, and they grew up in such small communities, they're just...less open to new ideas. </p><p>(A prime example of this was when they refused to accept that Shoyou had ADHD, until three different doctors came to the same conclusion.)</p><p>Maybe, years down the line, Shoyou can tell them. </p><p>Maybe, that same courage he's used to battle opponents twice his size in volleyball will come back and help him face his parents.</p><p>Maybe, he'll find someone whose love is worth risking his parents' hatred.</p><p>Maybe.</p><p>But not right now. </p><p>Especially not so soon after he's figured himself out and especially not when he hasn't even confessed to Kageyama.</p><p>Speaking of Kageyama, Shoyou hasn't spoken to him in almost a month. </p><p>He just...got so scared of what Kageyama might say that he decided to not hear anything at all.</p><p>Shoyou knows it's cowardly, he knows it's stupid, but he hasn't called him. He hasn't even texted him. </p><p>And it's probably hurting Shoyou more than Kageyama, because Kageyama hasn't called either, and Shoyou is going out of his mind with the suspension.</p><p>And the loneliness from the beginning of the year is starting to creep back in.<br/>
But mostly, Shoyou is concerned for Kageyama. He wants to know if he's been lonely, too. If he feels suffocated in his home, too. If he's also dying to be held. </p><p>He hopes Kageyama isn't being too hard on himself. </p><p>This past year, Kageyama has opened up, unraveling layer after layer of secrets that Shoyou hadn't even known were there. Kageyama confided in Shoyou, telling him about his plans after school, what foreign country he wants to play for, what new plays he wants to try. But also, he talks about things that aren't volleyball. About his sister, and how much he wishes he would be like her, with her cool motorbike and her breezy way of living. Kageyama talks about how he never learned to swim, because he was freaked out by the ocean as a kid. About how he misses his grandfather because his parents could never understand him. And recently, about how he's deathly afraid of failure, and of losing volleyball. </p><p>Every new piece of information has made Shoyou impossibly fonder, and the more he learns, the more he understands.</p><p>Kageyama is never going to be the type to like things easy, he's always going to look for a challenge, and he's always going to want to be the best. </p><p>A contradictory desire, but it's a desire that Shoyou shares.  </p><p>With every passing day, Shoyou realizes how alike he and Kageyama are, how they mirror each other, how they just fit into each other perfectly like two halves of a whole. And with every passing day, Shoyou's feelings teeter a little closer to love.</p><p>It's terrifying, the ease with which Shoyou falls in love with Kageyama.</p><p>As soon as he became aware of it, he panicked. </p><p>And now he's avoided Kageyama for almost two weeks. </p><p>Two terrible, excruciatingly long weeks.</p><p>Shoyou can never restrain himself for too long, especially not from Kageyama.</p><p>So, on one particularly rough day, after hitting a new low on a stupid Math test, Shoyou calls Kageyama again. He wraps himself in a jacket before walking outside of his house, not before yelling a quick, "Mom, I'm going for a walk!" over his shoulder as he leaves.</p><p>He pulls out his phone with shaking hands, alternating from staring at his phone screen, at that glaring contact and staring over the lazy hills of his home as he walked.</p><p>Eventually, he just thinks, "Fuck it." and taps Kageyama's contact.</p><p>Kageyama answers on the last ring, gruntled and slightly hesitant when he says, "Hello?"</p><p>Shoyou thinks it's dumb how quickly his lips start to smile. "Whatcha doin', Bakayama?" </p><p>"What do you care, dumbass?" He bites back.</p><p>"Excuse me for being polite, <em>Bakayama</em>."</p><p>Kageyama huffs, "I just got home from a run."</p><p>"Ooh, no invite?"</p><p>"You didn't ask for one. Besides," Kageyama grows quiet for a moment before saying, quieter this time, "you stopped calling."</p><p>Shoyou's heart drops and he feels like the worst person ever, making Kageyama's voice all small like that. </p><p>"I'm sorry, Kageyama. I really am. I just...I got caught up with...stuff."</p><p>"Stuff? That sounds dumb."</p><p>"Sh-shut up!"</p><p>"You shut up!"</p><p>"No, you!"</p><p>They went back and forth for a while before Shoyou finally relented and Kageyama asked, "What are <em>you</em> doing?"</p><p>"Just walking, trying to stay in shape."</p><p>"You better be, I don't want you coming back to the court all weak and useless."</p><p>"I won't! I bet I'm probably stronger than you by now. I've been lifting my cousin's old weights."</p><p>"I've been lifting too."</p><p>"Probably not as much as me."</p><p>"More than you! Next time I see you, we're settling this with an arm-wrestle."</p><p>And just like that, they settled into their normal routine, talking about nothing and everything. Shoyou almost trips twice, distracted with laughter from Kageyama's snarky commentary. </p><p>For an hour, they just talk and talk and talk.</p><p>There's a student in Kageyama's class who forgot to turn off her mic in class and cussed out the teacher while the whole class listened, there's a play Shoyou saw a foreign team do on YouTube that he wants to try with Kageyama, Kageyama's older sister bought him new knee pads that he wishes he could use, Shoyou's little sister has gotten really good at receiving, Kageyama has been practicing their quick with water bottles but has recently found it difficult, Shoyou has been working out his legs in order to jump even higher. They both can't wait to get back on the court.</p><p>Shoyou feels lighter than he has been all week. </p><p>Somehow, their conversation shifts and Kageyama asks, "Hey, did you know that Sawamura-san and Sugawara-san were dating?"</p><p>Shoyou pauses for a second and answers, "Yeah? I mean, I didn't notice until Yachi told me a few weeks ago, but yeah. Why?"</p><p>"I just found out. Yesterday."</p><p>"Oh, did you see them somewhere or?"</p><p>"Tsukishima made a joke about how I was so oblivious I probably didn't know Sawamura-san and Sugawara-san were dating."</p><p>Shoyou barks out a laugh. "AHAHA! And you actually are."</p><p>"Shut up, you didn't know either."</p><p>"Shut up, I still knew before you."</p><p>Kageyama goes quiet on the other line for some time and Shoyou is afraid maybe he lost him, before he says, "So, what do you think?"</p><p>"About what?"</p><p>"About them. Two guys dating. Moving in together. And...stuff."</p><p>Shoyou's heart skips a beat. "There's nothing to think about. I'm happy that they're happy. Why? What do you think?"</p><p>"Nothing. Same as you. Just...thinking about guys. Being gay. You know."</p><p>"Why? Are you...you know?"</p><p>"Wha-Shut up! I don't know what you're talking about." Kageyama splitters on the other end.</p><p>Before Shoyou can be crushed, he pushes ahead. "You didn't answer my question. Are you?"</p><p>"Am I what?"</p><p>"You know."</p><p>"Are you?" Kageyama throws the question back in his face.</p><p>"I don't know, are you?"</p><p>"What do you mean you don't know, you dumbass shrimp?! Are you or are you not?"</p><p>"Are YOU?! Bakeyama!"</p><p><em>"I don't know," </em>Kageyama mocks in a high-pitched tone, "Are YOU?!"  </p><p>Shoyou feels close to bursting with laughter or screaming in frustration, whichever comes first. </p><p>"Just tell me, are you?!"</p><p>"Hinata, seriously, I just want to know if you are-"</p><p>Shoyou waits.</p><p>And waits.</p><p>He checks his phone after a second and curses.</p><p>His phone is dead.</p><p>He sprints back home, restless and desperate as he runs uphill through twisting roads. </p><p>By the time he gets home, he's breathless and frantic. </p><p>He barely spares his family with a greeting before bursting into his room in search of his charger. When he can't find it anywhere, he pokes his head out of his room and yells, "NATSU! MY CHARGER!"</p><p>Natsu squeals from her room and, moments later, runs quickly towards Shoyou's, charger in hand. </p><p>"Are you mad, onii-chan?" Natsu peers up at Shoyou while he quickly plugs in his phone and immediately tries turning it on.</p><p>"No, sorry, Natsu, I just really needed my charger." Shoyou waves her away impatiently. </p><p>"Okay, Mom says you need to come eat soon." Natsu says, taking the liberty to sit on Shoyou's bed. </p><p>"Okay." Shoyou says dismissively, trying again to turn on his phone.</p><p>"Can I stay here? My room is cold."</p><p>"Okay." Shoyou says, then yells joyfully when his phone finally turns on. </p><p>He goes to Messages and texts Kageyama as soon as his phone's screen brightens.<br/>
 <br/>
<b>Me</b><br/>
omg im so sorry my phone died<br/>
but to answer ur question,,,<br/>
i am</p><p>
  <b>bakayama :P</b><br/>
<em>You are what?</em>
</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
i am </p><p>
  <b>bakayama :P</b><br/>
<em>what?</em>
</p><p>While Shoyou is trying to find words that weren't, "I am," Kageyama sends him another text.</p><p>
  <b>bakayama :P</b><br/>
<em>anyway, I wanted to tell you that im gay.</em>
</p><p>Shoyou's fingers fly faster than his brain.</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
oh word? same</p><p><b>bakayama :P</b><br/>
<em>what?</em> </p><p>
  <em>f</em>
  <em>or real?</em>
</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
yeah...i was trying to tell u, but i got scared,,, but im bisexual,, bicycle</p><p>Immediately, Shoyou regrets sending that last bit and slaps his own forehead. Natsu startles and asks, "Are you okay, onii-chan?"" </p><p>Shoyou nods quickly and turns back to his phone.</p><p>
  <b>bakayama :P</b><br/>
<em>why would you be scared</em>
</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
idk i just was,, i thought you'd stop being my friend</p><p>
  <b>bakayama :P</b><br/>
<em>haha loser</em>
</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
shut up, you were scared too</p><p>
  <b>bakayama :P</b><br/>
<em>shut up</em>
</p><p>Glad that Kageyama didn't deny it, Shoyou grins. </p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
anyway, when did u find out</p><p>
  <b>bakayama :P</b><br/>
<em>idk....ive kinda always known, i just never really cared. how about you</em>
</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
ahh just this year</p><p>
  <b>bakayama :P</b><br/>
<em>what made u realize</em>
</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
what made YOU realize</p><p>Kageyama starts and stops typing a million times before he finally sends a response.</p><p>
  <b>bakayama :P</b><br/>
<em>probably oikawa in middle school</em>
</p><p>Shoyou's jaw promptly falls to the floor.</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
oIKAWA?</p><p>
  <b>bakayama :P</b><br/>
<em>yes</em>
</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
OIKAWA??</p><p>
  <b>bakayama :P</b><br/>
<em>yes.</em>
</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
THE GRAND KING??</p><p>
  <b>bakayama :P</b><br/>
<em>yes.</em>
</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
OIKAWA?? TOORU??</p><p>
  <b>bakayama :P</b><br/>
<em>YES OH MY GOD SHUT UP</em>
</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
oh my god,,, oikawa</p><p>
  <b>bakayama :P</b><br/>
<em>shut up already and talk about YOUR crush</em>
</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
ok but,,, oikawa,,, iwaizumi-san would eat you aive</p><p>
  <b>bakayama :P</b><br/>
<em>i had a crush on him too</em>
</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
IWAIZUMI????</p><p>
  <b>bakayama :P</b><br/>
<em>don't start again.</em>
</p><p><b><em>Me</em></b><br/>
this is the best night ever,,, talking abt crushes, this is like a sleepover<br/>
□ </p><p>
  <b>bakayama :P</b><br/>
<em>whats that</em>
</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
its a pillow. i just threw a pillow at you</p><p><b>bakayama :P</b><br/>
□ </p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
:D</p><p>
  <b>bakayama :P</b><br/>
<em>just so you know, i threw mine harder</em>
</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
no, i did!! &gt;:[</p><p>
  <b>bakayama :P</b><br/>
<em>shut up and tell me about your crush</em>
</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
ummmmm</p><p>
  <b>bakayama :P</b><br/>
<em>hinata, i told u abt mine</em>
</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
ummmmm</p><p>
  <b>bakayama :P</b><br/>
<em>if you don't tell me, then that means that i win at crush-confessing</em>
</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
thats not even a thing!!</p><p>
  <b>bakayama :P</b><br/>
<em>i win again.</em>
</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
shut up i'll tell you</p><p>"Dammit, I shouldn't have said that," Shoyou slaps himself again.</p><p>He spends a long time staring at his phone screen, trying to convince himself to just tell the truth, trying to be brave. Kageyama keeps sending messages asking if he's there, never once letting up about Shoyou confessing, which is fair considering Kageyama had just confessed a huge truth. Kageyama deserves honesty. WIth that though, Shoyou takes in a deep breath and starts typing.</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
this is like super embarassing and im really really sorry abt this and i promise that i didnt even mean to do it and i rlly am sorry, amd you dont even have to say anything and im rlly sorry and i hope this doesnt chaneg anything but ivehadacrushonyouandipromiseibarelyrealizeditbutithinkiminlovewithyousorry hahahahahaha lol haha</p><p>Shoyou is practically runnning on adreline after sending that message, feeling like he's about to burst. Kageyama's repsponse can't come soon enough.</p><p>
  <b>bakayama :P</b><br/>
<em>what?</em>
</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
what</p><p>
  <b>bakayama :P</b><br/>
<em>who did u have a crush on?</em>
</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
i just said...</p><p>
  <b>bakayama :P</b><br/>
<em>oh</em><br/>
<em>cool</em>
</p><p>Cool?? What kind of a response is that?? Shoyou panics and his anxious energy takes over him for a second and by the time he comes back to himself, his phone is across his bedroom and Natsu is staring at him with wide eyes.</p><p>"Sorry, Natsu." Shoyou says, sheepish and still thrumming with nervous energy.</p><p>Shoyou can't think of anything to say to Kageyama, he's confused and a little heartbroken and absolutely restless.</p><p><b>Me</b><br/>
yeah haha, ok i gotta go now bye</p><p>Shoyou turns off his phone, plugs it back into its charger, and rushes outside. His mother's questions as he leaves go unheard.</p><p>He needs to run.</p><p> </p>
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